It's never too late to start something new

If you're telling yourself you've left it too late, or you're risking too much to start again, you should stop that immediately.

A few years ago, I had a mentoring client with a secret dream. He was a hotel General Manager, and at just 37, had built an impressive corporate career from humble beginnings. He hadn’t been to university, and had worked his way up the ladder from the ground floor. He felt, he told me, like he’d fluked his way there: so he’d better stay.

Then, he confessed: he’d always wanted to be a police officer. Alas, he told me, that ship had sailed. I was curious. Why?

He was resigned as he explained: with a wife and child to support, and a mortgage to pay, he wasn’t sure he could take a pay-cut by putting his ladder against on a new wall. Plus, he confided, his brother was living his dream - he’d been in the police force for 15 years - and he certainly didn’t like the idea of his brother doing better than he was.* It was too late, he told me ruefully, he had to stay where he was.

This is the moment where I almost leapt through the Zoom in frustration. Are you kidding me?!

*I can’t help with the brother thing, aside from having a giggle. Siblings, man.

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Challenge unhelpful stories

We talked about some of the stories holding him back (I cover a few similar stories here in this LinkedIn post) and dismantled them in turn:

1. Age - The idea of being stuck forever at 37 is astonishing. You’re actually more likely to make a success of your career transitions in later life - check out this post for some interesting stats on that.

2. Reputation - Fewer people are paying attention to your choices than you think - and the ones that are will be unlikely to hold them against you. You worked your way here, you can work your way out.

3. Disaster - We get comfortable in our comfort, and forget how capable and resilient we are. Remember that huge risk you took, or the time you thought everything was f**ked? Yeah, and you’re even smarter and more experienced now than you were then.

4. Abilities - To have scrambled up to the top of the ladder by 37, you’ve got skills galore. They’re not the same skills you started with, you learned them as you went. The idea that you can’t be good at anything else, just because you haven’t tried yet, is utterly preposterous.

5. Serendipity - You did not fluke this. You deserve to be here. This is not your final chance at success, safety or recognition. You could do it all over again, faster this time. Stop telling yourself otherwise.

A boozy and honest night with his wife ensued, and at our next session, he was grinning ear to ear. Yep, he told me, he was doing it. As soon as the next intake opened for officers, he was heading to Police College.

In the meantime, we worked out some strategies for his transition toward his dream. He was going to turn up to work every day with a new mindset: gathering stories and experience for his Police College interviews (This is the #1 way I advise people to handle the final stages of a job when they’re ready for something new). He was going to get fit, and set goals so that he could ace his new calling. I nearly cried with delight.

It’s not too late for you to change. It’s never too late for you to change. Some of the most successful people you can think of switched careers, started new things or launched their own businesses later in their life.

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Eating my own dog food

Three years after delivering this advice, I realised I was saying the same things to myself that he’d said to me. I want to write a novel and earn money from my writing, but I’ve been saying things like: It’s too late now. People know you as a corporate thought leadery person. You’ll look stupid. You probably can’t even write fiction, dickhead.

Or this one, which is the most dangerous of them all: Why can’t you just be happy with what you have?

(Be careful with that one, especially if you’re a woman. That is some deeply internalised guilt right there, and it needs to fuck right off.)

This week I’m in Hood River, Oregon, at the Breakout Novel Intensive with Donald Maas, author of this epic guide, learning how to write a great novel. I nearly didn’t come, or tell anyone about it, because I was scared of bailing, failing, or looking silly.

Isn’t that insane? I’m 34 years old. In the last 10 years, I’ve built a successful business from scratch, launched incredible online programmes, published two business books, travelled to foreign countries, taken the stage in front of thousands of people and raised three children. I’m teen mum, a foster kid, and firmly working-class in origin. I didn’t have the foggiest how to do any of that before I started (or that those were even things!?!) but somehow, along the way, I worked it out. Even with those achievements on my score-card, I’m still an anxious scaredy-cat feeling trapped in the box I built for myself. Because that’s what people are like.

So, I got started. In February, I started tentatively putting words on the paper. And they sucked. My first 20,000 words were almost worthless. I was unsure of myself, posturing, writing like I thought you were supposed to write, banging around in the dark. Every time I got somewhere, I hit a new roadblock. What is a scene? How do you manage plot lines? Frustrated, I read as many books about writing as I could get my hands on and, in between swearing at my computer, kept going.

Now, I’ve got some chapters sitting here that honestly, don’t suck. And my book idea… it’s pretty good. Today I wrote a kick-ass sex scene, and slotted it into my literary masterpiece with a grin. 🔥 Those unhelpful stories can die in a fire.

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What do you want to do?

I’m not telling you to quit your job or start a new life, though maybe you should. But you know what wouldn’t hurt? Getting back in touch with the dreams you’ve kept locked away, and giving yourself permission to explore following them.

Here’s some common ones I hear all the time:

• Learning to play the piano

• Learning to speak a new language

• Starting your own business

• Changing careers

• Going back to university

• Moving to a new country.

You can do any one of these, and you can start the work for it, today. You’ll suck to start with. You sucked at what you’re doing now, too.

But you can start again, any time you like.

Til next week, 

A

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